{"id":5012,"date":"2013-06-05T12:52:23","date_gmt":"2013-06-05T11:52:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.missmad.fr\/?p=5012"},"modified":"2019-04-23T11:53:59","modified_gmt":"2019-04-23T09:53:59","slug":"quand-sucer-donne-le-cancer-les-puritains-nous-auront-prvenus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.audreyrochas.com\/missmad\/2013\/06\/05\/quand-sucer-donne-le-cancer-les-puritains-nous-auront-prvenus\/","title":{"rendered":"Quand sucer donne le cancer\u2026 Les puritains nous auront pr\u00e9venus !"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2>C&rsquo;est l&rsquo;histoire d&rsquo;un virus qui papillonne<\/h2>\n<p>C\u2019est tomb\u00e9 comme un cheveu sur la soupe : <strong>sucer provoquerait le cancer de la gorge<\/strong>. Tout \u00e7a \u00e0 cause d\u2019un vilain virus, le <a href=\"http:\/\/fr.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Papillomavirus_humain\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">papillomavirus ou HPV<\/a>, qui se transmet lors de relations sexuelles. \u00c7a, les filles connaissent : elles ont droit, r\u00e9guli\u00e8rement \u00e0 des examens que je ne d\u00e9crirai pas ici de peur de <strong>choquer irr\u00e9m\u00e9diablement les \u00e2mes sensibles de nos m\u00e2les pr\u00e9f\u00e9r\u00e9s<\/strong>. Bref, le papillomavirus, qui nous enjoignait jusqu\u2019ici \u00e0 <strong>abuser de la capote<\/strong> et \u00e9tait l\u2019affaire des seules donzelles, revient tout \u00e0 coup sur le devant de la sc\u00e8ne et flirte dangereusement avec les hommes.<\/p>\n<h2>La g\u00e2terie g\u00e2t\u00e9e<\/h2>\n<p>Cette excuse un brin tir\u00e9e par les cheveux (quoique r\u00e9aliste, n\u2019en d\u00e9plaise aux anti-moralisateurs), je l\u2019avais entendue pas plus tard que ce weekend. L\u2019histoire m\u2019avait bien fait rire &#8211; pensez plut\u00f4t : \u201cd\u00e9sol\u00e9e, ch\u00e9ri, je ne te sucerai plus parce que \u00e7a donne le cancer\u201d\u2026 Il y a de quoi relancer la production de <strong>pr\u00e9servatifs go\u00fbt fraise et chocolat<\/strong> (un truc des ann\u00e9es 90..) et cr\u00e9er de nouveaux go\u00fbts, un peu comme pour les macarons -, mais il semblerait que l\u2019id\u00e9e prenne de l\u2019ampleur.<\/p>\n<p>Le coup fatal a \u00e9t\u00e9 ass\u00e9n\u00e9 par le <strong>sex addict<\/strong> Michael Douglas qui, interrog\u00e9 sur son cancer, a annonc\u00e9 qu\u2019il \u00e9tait d\u00fb non pas aux exc\u00e8s d\u2019alcool, cigarette et autres drogues, mais \u00e0 <strong>un exc\u00e8s de cunnilingus<\/strong> (sic !). Oui, alors que certaines femmes prenaient pour excuse le risque de cancer pour ne pas s\u2019adonner \u00e0 <strong>la petite pipe hebdomadaire<\/strong>, ce sont maintenant les hommes qui ont trouv\u00e9 <strong>leur dispense de descendre \u00e0 la cave<\/strong>. Comme \u00e7a, on est quitte !<\/p>\n<h2>Tu seras puni par l\u00e0 o\u00f9 tu as p\u00e9ch\u00e9<\/h2>\n<p>Chez <a href=\"http:\/\/www.vice.com\/fr\/read\/sucer-des-chattes-tue-michael-douglas\/?utm_source=vicefb\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Vice<\/a>, on d\u00e9truit joyeusement la d\u00e9claration de <strong>Michael Douglas<\/strong> &#8211; qui se la joue un peu quand m\u00eame, non..? \u201cJ\u2019ai trop brout\u00e9 de minous\u201d \u00e7a fait un peu \u201cje suis un dieu du sexe\u201d, mais passons &#8211; en se concentrant sur l\u2019attitude du <strong>pauvre l\u00e9cheur d\u2019abricots<\/strong> et en passant du m\u00eame coup sur ce scandale \u00e0 venir : hommes et femmes, m\u00eame combat contre le sexe oral. Voil\u00e0 qui va plaire aux puritains qui luttent depuis des si\u00e8cles contre <strong>le vice du sexe<\/strong>. \u00c2mes perdues que nous sommes, il est temps de revenir aux fondamentaux, \u00e0 savoir <strong>le gentil missionnaire \u00e0 la papa<\/strong> entre personnes mari\u00e9es (ensemble, hein !), pour \u00e9viter toute contamination \u00e9trang\u00e8re.<\/p>\n<p>Reste \u00e0 savoir ce que vont devenir <strong>ces milliers d\u2019adolescentes qui passent de l\u2019esquimau au p\u00e9nis<\/strong> \u00e0 un \u00e2ge o\u00f9 certaines ont encore une <strong>Barbie<\/strong> qui tra\u00eene dans leur chambre\u2026 Devront-elles renoncer \u00e0 leur<strong> v\u0153u de chastet\u00e9<\/strong> (\u201cjusqu\u2019\u00e0 mes 15 ans, j\u2019suis pas une salope quand m\u00eame !\u201d) pour continuer \u00e0 entretenir des \u201crelations privil\u00e9gi\u00e9es\u201d avec les gar\u00e7ons de leur \u00e2ge ? Affaire \u00e0 suivre\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>C&rsquo;est l&rsquo;histoire d&rsquo;un virus qui papillonne C\u2019est tomb\u00e9 comme un cheveu sur la soupe : sucer provoquerait le cancer de la gorge. Tout \u00e7a \u00e0 cause d\u2019un vilain virus, le papillomavirus ou HPV, qui se transmet lors de relations sexuelles. \u00c7a, les filles connaissent : elles ont droit, r\u00e9guli\u00e8rement \u00e0 des examens que je ne [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5735,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[60,61,62,63,64],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.13 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Quand sucer donne le cancer\u2026 Les puritains nous auront pr\u00e9venus ! - Miss Mad<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.audreyrochas.com\/missmad\/2013\/06\/05\/quand-sucer-donne-le-cancer-les-puritains-nous-auront-prvenus\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Quand sucer donne le cancer\u2026 Les puritains nous auront pr\u00e9venus ! - Miss Mad\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"C&rsquo;est l&rsquo;histoire d&rsquo;un virus qui papillonne C\u2019est tomb\u00e9 comme un cheveu sur la soupe : sucer provoquerait le cancer de la gorge. Tout \u00e7a \u00e0 cause d\u2019un vilain virus, le papillomavirus ou HPV, qui se transmet lors de relations sexuelles. \u00c7a, les filles connaissent : elles ont droit, r\u00e9guli\u00e8rement \u00e0 des examens que je ne [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.audreyrochas.com\/missmad\/2013\/06\/05\/quand-sucer-donne-le-cancer-les-puritains-nous-auront-prvenus\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Miss Mad\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-06-05T11:52:23+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2019-04-23T09:53:59+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.audreyrochas.com\/missmad\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2013\/06\/Sucettes.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1280\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"851\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Miss Mad\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"\u00c9crit par\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Miss Mad\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Dur\u00e9e de lecture estim\u00e9e\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.audreyrochas.com\/missmad\/2013\/06\/05\/quand-sucer-donne-le-cancer-les-puritains-nous-auront-prvenus\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.audreyrochas.com\/missmad\/2013\/06\/05\/quand-sucer-donne-le-cancer-les-puritains-nous-auront-prvenus\/\",\"name\":\"Quand sucer donne le cancer\u2026 Les puritains nous auront pr\u00e9venus ! - Miss Mad\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.audreyrochas.com\/missmad\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2013-06-05T11:52:23+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2019-04-23T09:53:59+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.audreyrochas.com\/missmad\/#\/schema\/person\/0db594f2792d3cf6efa24d02d6054f6d\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.audreyrochas.com\/missmad\/2013\/06\/05\/quand-sucer-donne-le-cancer-les-puritains-nous-auront-prvenus\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"fr-FR\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.audreyrochas.com\/missmad\/2013\/06\/05\/quand-sucer-donne-le-cancer-les-puritains-nous-auront-prvenus\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.audreyrochas.com\/missmad\/2013\/06\/05\/quand-sucer-donne-le-cancer-les-puritains-nous-auront-prvenus\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Accueil\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.audreyrochas.com\/missmad\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Quand sucer donne le cancer\u2026 Les puritains nous auront pr\u00e9venus !\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.audreyrochas.com\/missmad\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.audreyrochas.com\/missmad\/\",\"name\":\"Miss Mad\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.audreyrochas.com\/missmad\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"fr-FR\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.audreyrochas.com\/missmad\/#\/schema\/person\/0db594f2792d3cf6efa24d02d6054f6d\",\"name\":\"Miss Mad\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"fr-FR\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.audreyrochas.com\/missmad\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1414f715ce9ad3d75999c2c7b8ef25e7?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1414f715ce9ad3d75999c2c7b8ef25e7?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Miss Mad\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.audreyrochas.com\/missmad\/author\/audrey\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Quand sucer donne le cancer\u2026 Les puritains nous auront pr\u00e9venus ! - Miss Mad","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.audreyrochas.com\/missmad\/2013\/06\/05\/quand-sucer-donne-le-cancer-les-puritains-nous-auront-prvenus\/","og_locale":"fr_FR","og_type":"article","og_title":"Quand sucer donne le cancer\u2026 Les puritains nous auront pr\u00e9venus ! - Miss Mad","og_description":"C&rsquo;est l&rsquo;histoire d&rsquo;un virus qui papillonne C\u2019est tomb\u00e9 comme un cheveu sur la soupe : sucer provoquerait le cancer de la gorge. 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